Here's what the Bible says about tattoos and piercings

Just about everyone in the Western world probably has at least a passing familiarity with the Ten Commandments, Christianity's troubleshooting guide for life's many morally grey areas.

These rules certainly cover a lot of ground, reminding believers of the most important rules like "quit killing each other" and "enough with all the coveting." In other areas, though, they come up short in terms of divine guidance.

The Commandments give us zero hints about what to eat, for example, or what clothes are acceptable, or whether or not God is disappointed in you for going to Hot Topic and getting a belly button ring without talking to your mom first.

For that, we turn to the Book of Leviticus. Leviticus is an Old Testament Book laying out all of the rules that God added later, presumably because "the 400 or so commandments" isn't as catchy and would've been way more difficult to memorize. In it, we find out which animals are cool to eat and that we should be avoiding blended fabrics and, yes, God's views on tattoos and piercings. In Leviticus 19:28, God says "Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you…" Different translations vary slightly, but the overall message remains: tats and piercings are no good by the Big Guy.

Before you rub seltzer water on your ink to try and get right with your Jesus, it's worth mentioning that there's practically zero chance that you're living up to all of the rules spelled out in Leviticus anyway.
Other unforgivable sins listed include eating bacon, getting a bowl cut, growing more than one kind of plant in a field, and watching Long Island Medium. At a certain point, you've just got to make yourself a BLT, fire up the tattoo gun, and throw yourself on the mercy of the court, you know?